Episode 48 – Yellow Mustard Pow[d]er

  • In this episode, Akspa does some crappy calls.
  • Miriam wakes up a UK family for sex and profit.
  • Dwight dons his Tyler Perry outfit and calls a fan
  • We wish a man a happy birthday via bizarre calls and song
  • We annoy Guam with terrible names and situations
  • Milkman ends the show

Robert Turbeux
Xander Fett
Defat Hairpin

Announcing the Madhouse Restoration Project –
We are looking at ways to restore the audio fidelity of every Madhouse Live show using AI technology.
We will be putting up a page chronicling the efforts and requests for help in this endeavor.
We will need help in collecting samples of Carlito’s voice, as well as every co-host’s voice over the years.
This is a long-term project that we want to get rolling sooner than later.


Episode 47 – Mai Dodder’s Spiced Mustard

  • Miriam tries to hire transport to the other side as the Grim Reaper tickles her fanny with his sickle
  • Miriam wakes up some folks trying to get a mustard refill
  • Akspa tries to get some costumes purchased while sleeping off a high in a truck stop
  • Snappybakes tries to purchase a China cabinet
  • UK Wakeup Calls get some good reactions
  • We encounter a guy that seemingly wants a woman in his life but gets suckered into the rabbit hole that is Travels with Miriam
  • Mr. Prolapse from The Machine makes a call
  • A man likes mustard and twitter hoes
  • A man acts like an angry bot but is actually a real boi. Ends up getting blacklisted from our machine due to 20+ callbacks.
  • Snappybakes still has that ‘new car smell’
  • Snappybakes has snake babies

Special thanks to MustardMachine for sponsoring Episodes 46 and 47

Welcome to our latest Patron, snails!


Episode 44 – Mo Mustard, Mo Problems

Miriam calls LiveLinks and tries to find a man who can fulfill her Mustard needs.
MustardMachine tries to suss out the mustard competition.
Akspa tries to solve world mustard hunger
LuLu tries to find Mummy and entice men to do her bidding
Dwight and Airhead get called names by Kermit The Frog

This episode was recorded on July 3rd, 2020.


Episode 37 – A Drinking We Will Go

In this episode, Akspa decides early on that a couple shots of rye whiskey is a good idea. The result are several weird drunken calls to hotels, and people. The usual calls to Japan and Singapore are mixed in with calls to domestic locations. This is a short but sweet compilation of calls.

This episode was recorded on April 25th, 2020.


Episode 36 – Quarantine Blues

In this episode, we call a bunch of random places trying to harass people in various ways. We get on the line with some weird people with weird nervous noises, and bother people overseas.

There’s some weird stuff in this episode that was recorded on April 18th, 2020.


Episodes 31, 32, 33 – Miriam Loves Satin

In this mega episode, we call various places including Singapore, Japan, and the deep south. Miriam’s diaper gets stolen. There’s a whole lot of weird calls in this massive show – 4+ hours of pure unfiltered insanity.

If you wish to join in for the hilarity, head on over to the Hijinks Lab Discord server, and listen in on Friday nights starting at 7PM with Dragonmere, then at 10PM with Akspa for Community Calls!

This episode features calls by: Akspa, Miriam, Dwight the Janitor, BigDTB, and many others from the Hijinks Discord.


Episode 25 – Non-Conformist Prank Calls

In this episode, we call Singapore, Japan, the US, and various other places. We ruffle some feathers, confuse some people with our odd requests, do some customer surveys with weird results, and otherwise perform non-conformist prank calls.

Features calls by: Carlito, Dwight the Janitor, BigDTB, totalsecond, Akspa, Miriam, and many others from the Hijinks Discord Server.


Episode 20 – Travels with Miriam and Friends

This is a show that features Miriam and a bunch of friends making calls to locations unknown.  

Production of the normal show has gone sideways for the last month. This is almost a return to the old format, but not quite.Miriam calls hotels, and various other places. A new yet-unnamed character is featured as well. 

Callers include: Dwight the Janitor, Carlito and several others from the Hijinks Discord.


Lost 1967 interview with Miriam

Going through several exploitation films of the late 60’s, I managed to uncover this interview with a young Miriam. She was apparently a go-go dancer back then, who wanted to show the world her famous ta-ta’s. We learn a little about her life in this rare, lost interview from 52 years ago.

The audio quality isn’t the greatest, and a lot of her answers are muffled. Perhaps someone out there can decipher what exactly her answers to all the questions are?